Is Food Your Frenemy?

shutterstock_100850155Is food your “frenemy?” Food can be the best friend and comfort you have when you are down or just want to feel something because you are bored and have nothing to do.  Yet, after you eat, you are consumed with guilt and self-loathing.  This is no way to live or to let something outside of you have this much control over how you feel about yourself.  Nothing can make us feel bad about ourselves more quickly than not liking what we look like.

Food as the Frenemy

1. Food Feels Good:  Why is food our friend?  It makes us feel good. When we eat we are “feeling” something. We are busy, consumed and getting our neurochemistry spiked. Our bodies respond physically and emotionally when we eat.  Who doesn’t want to feel good?  Food is a quick fix to getting our mood elevated.

2. Food Feels Bad:  In the anticipation of eating and in the actual process of eating we are feeling great. We are happy, indulging and giving our souls a taste-sensation until our eating activity ends.  We have had too much, we didn’t think about the fat content, we lost control and now we feel guilt and self-loathing.

3. Fat vs Full:  It is hard for many of us to tell the difference between fat and full.  When we feel full we are often are feeling fat and writhing in the discomfort of our recent eating adventure. We can’t stand ourselves, our loss of control, and we are full of regret.  We are guilty, hateful of food and ourselves and never want to eat again.

4. Balancing Act:  After we over-indulge we convince ourselves if we exercise our asses off and don’t eat as much the next day or two that we will somehow delete the effects of our over-eating adventure and we will be back to balance.  We go extreme the other way trying work off our bad behavior with our self-esteem going on our roller coaster ride.

5. Fat/Thin Crazy-Making:  Our thoughts now cycle between fat and thin, fat and thin, to the point that we literally label our days.  “I am having a fat day.” On these days our insecurities get the best of us and we ask everyone and anyone if we look fat.  Wow, do we become annoying! We get ourselves fat and then quickly obsess about thin again.  Now we’re Jekyll and Hyde with food, an inanimate entity, running our lives.

6. Make Friends With Food:  We have to make friends with food because we cannot survive without it. Any good friendship has a balance.  Being in a Jekyll and Hyde relationship with food is no different or crazy making then being in this type of relationship with a person. It runs your life.  There is no balance and zero self-control.

7. Self-control is sexy:   Don’t we all want to be considered a composed and elegant person? To be composed and elegant would mean that we have a sense of self-love and self-control where we can be around any stimulus and have a balance that is not frantic but gathered.  It simply comes down to being healthy and disciplined. Knowing when enough is enough creates a classy-sexy-in-control person.

When we are in a love-hate relationship with food we are actually in a love-hate relationship with ourselves. We cannot feel love for ourselves if we are buried under feelings of not having any control. We are feeling fat and unattractive, or full and guilty. Nothing positive can enter when we allow food to trigger these low-self-worth emotions.  Discipline and self-love are black and white. If we are out-of-control we are not behaving maturely.  The way to make food your friend is to know your limits. Food should make you feel good about yourself not bad. Learn to see the rewards in self-control and feeling HOT rather than in the temporary taste-sensation euphoria that will only lead to self-hatred later.

Little Life Message:  Control Is Sexy.  Control is Confidence.  Control is Elegance.

Sherrie Campbell, PhD is a veteran, licensed Psychologist with two decades of clinical training and experience providing counseling and psychotherapy services to residents of Yorba Linda, Irvine, Anaheim, Fullerton and Brea, California.  In her private practice, she currently specializes in psychotherapy with adults and teenagers, including marriage and family therapy, grief counselling, childhood trauma, sexual issues, personality disorders, illness and more. She has helped individuals manage their highest high and survive their lowest low—from winning the lottery to the death of a child.  Her interactive sessions are as unique and impactful as her new book, Loving Yourself : The Mastery of Being Your Own Person. She is also an inspirational speaker, avid writer and proud mother.  She can be reached at